SO, WHAT IS SWINGING?
Swinging, sometimes referred to in North America as the swinging lifestyle or simply The Lifestyle (although this simplified term is also used
by people into Leather and BDSM), includes a wide range of mutually consenting sexual activities conducted between three or more people.
More traditionally, Swinging refers to married couples that engage in consensual sex with other married couples or singles.
Historically, it has not been uncommon to find societies that have advocated having a lifestyle with multiple sexual partners.
Furthermore both royalty and nobility in many cultures had consorts and concubines. Ancient Rome has been notable (if not infamous) for its enthusiastic
acceptance of orgies and alternative sexual practices. However, though contemporary swingers celebrate those ideals, the actual practice of
swinging in the 20th century began differently (paragraph written by Paul C).
In 1998, in an article from the Canadian magazine Saturday Night, the author, Terry Gould posed the question “Can family values survive sexual adventure?” Gould was referring to what he reported was the steady rise of “swinging” among the North American population. He suggested in his article that swinging, a process by which married individuals engage in consensual sexual interactions with other persons (co-marital sex), was becoming part of the fabric of social interactions (Gould, 1998). Gould went on to posit that this behaviour was perceived by a large part of the population as a moral threat to mainstream heterosexual behaviour and even a possible threat to the institution of marriage and the fabric of the family unit (Gould, 1998). Gould’s consequent investigation of swinging, he discovered that swingers seemed to have strong, loving, and committed relationships and lived traditional family lives with traditional values. Moreover,
Gould claimed that swingers had found a happy alternative to adultery and sexual boredom (Gould, 1998). However, the assertions made by Gould were anecdotal at best and reflective of his interviews with a small number of swingers; this was by no means the product of a studious and rigorous process of scientific inquiry.
In an episode of Real Life Desperate Housewives, aired on ABC News 20/20 on March 18, 2007, the swinging couples interviewed by the reporter John Stossl reported that what they were doing was consensual co-marital sex and that their marital relationships had become stronger, and happier. They attributed the increase in happiness to their ability to have their sexual fantasies fulfilled in a context that involved themselves and their spouses without having to resort to lying or engaging in affairs outside the relationship.
Additionally, in an article in the English newspaper The Independent, Saturday,
July 22nd, 2006, titled Behind closed doors: The swinging Noughties, it was reported that the continuing rise of swinging was due, for the most part, to the ease of communication among people provided by the Internet. Moreover, the article suggested that swinging is multidimensional and appeals to a diverse group of individuals, allowing some to fulfill their sexual fantasies within the context of the marital relationship. Moreover, the article posited that swingers engage in extra-dyadic sexual activities free of guilt and with the involvement of the other partner, which contributes, according to the author, to the strength and happiness of the primary relationship. Interesting to note that relationship happiness was mentioned in both articles by the swinging individuals interviewed.
Since sexuality is such a central element of long-term relationships, sexual compatibility, sexual satisfaction, and commitment are all indicators of the longevity of the relationship (Lawrence & Byers, 1992). Moreover, sex and intimacy are usually associated with a passionate relationship (Love, 1999). Brown and Amatea (2000) define commitment as: The commitment component refers to the short-term decision to label our attitude towards another as love and also the long-term decision to try to maintain that love into the foreseeable future. Thus the commitment involves cognitive acts, rather than emotions, and may include conscious intention and will-power (p.40).
Arguments made in opposition to the practice of swinging and partner swapping fall into two broad categories.
First, objections based on the practical considerations of engaging in a swinging lifestyle, and second, moral or philosophical objections against the principles of swinging itself.
The most common objections based upon practical considerations include arguments such as the health dangers of having multiple partners since swingers are not maintaining monogamous relationships), or the emotional attachments to sexual activity (which may cause friction in a relationship).
Objections pertaining to the basic principles of swinging on a moral or philosophical basis may include the sacred nature of sexual relations between two persons, or the view that sexual relations should only occur within a
committed relationship, sometimes stated as "only within a marriage". Those invoking this reasoning may assert that in order to engage in a swinging relationship, one must degrade sexual relations to the most basic element of pleasure, which would be in violation of the sacred nature of sexual relationships. Some argue that if sex becomes the main reason for swinging, sex may become mechanistic and less satisfying than the intimacy experienced by monogamous couples.
But most couples enter into swinging while already in secure relationships, providing an added motivation to avoid excessive sexual health risks. While sexual affairs outside of relationships may be committed in the "heat of the moment" without regard to future consequences, most swingers maintain that sex among swingers is a much more thought-out and practical affair. Many swinging clubs in the US and UK do not have alcohol licenses and have a "bring your own beverage" (BYOB) policy. Also, it is not uncommon for experienced swingers to remain sober; these individuals may consequently state that they take a far safer approach to their sexual health than that of comparable non-monogamous singles (who would ostensibly have impaired judgment from becoming inebriated).
Condoms are required at most swinging clubs and parties, unless clearly stated otherwise. In addition, a minority of swingers rely on regular STD testing to ensure their safety. A small portion of swingers alternatively focus on massage and other activities that are unlikely to transmit STDs; however, most participants in a swinging lifestyle acknowledge that they are accepting the same risks that any sexually promiscuous member of society does.
